Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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