Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
