Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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