ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
