where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
