..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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