What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
