I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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