Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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