I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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