It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
