areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize