so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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