whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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