Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
