so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
