U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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