Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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