Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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