I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize