Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
