I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
