I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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