If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
