Plan B is the new Plan A
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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