Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
