oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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