Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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