dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize