Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
