He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
