did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
