I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
