you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
