It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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