i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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