Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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