if i can run in heels then i can drive
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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