but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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