My room smells like vodka and shame
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize