You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
