That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just invented taco cereal.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
