He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
In America we eat man semen.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
