yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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