u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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