she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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