you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
that is very illegal...i love you.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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