Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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