we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Randomize
