im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
