The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she peed on how many people?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
