but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think your dad took our porno
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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