Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize