I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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