is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
