i jhust puked up my retainher.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Too much gin, very little bucket
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
