Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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