This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
