when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
