shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Vodka?
Forever.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize