so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
