What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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