Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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