I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
