I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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