also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
