Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
