Christians are straight up FREAKS
im six kinds of drunk right now
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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