Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
