Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
