Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
