it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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