She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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