she woke up with a sticky ear
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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