You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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