Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
