ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Oh god it's open bar.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
