No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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