Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
