You work out of a Hotel?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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