we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
