Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm getting married
To pizza
You ate ashes out of my bong
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
