I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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