I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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