I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
